Lost Letter

I have with greatest intent, sat down to write this email at least a half dozen times.  However, we didn’t really understand just how rigorous mission leadership would be. We could imagine it, plan for it, and even talk to our mentors and several friends who have served in this capacity, and still there was no clear understanding of just how overwhelmingly busy it would be.

We have been surprised at every turn.

I won’t adequately be able to sum up the last month, or try to catch up starting with the MTC and our first weeks here, but I will share some stories of miracles, comment on the real and the grueling parts, and touch on the things we love here and the things we miss back home.

Our time in the MTC is like a dream to us. After all, it isn’t a normal everyday situation that you are in the same room (not a conference center), but the same room as apostles and prophets. We relished our time meeting so many incredible leaders, spending time with others who also have been called to this huge responsibility, and having been fed both spiritually and physically. It has been said that the MTC experience is a bit like being on a cruise ship and then going to the field is like being dumped overboard without a life vest. And I think that pretty well sums up how we felt our first two weeks.

Our first task was taking a mission tour to each area. One of our zones is in the area of Bage (said Bah-zhay), and is 5.5 hours away by car. We decided because they feel like they’re forgotten, that we’d start with them. It is a strange thing to just be Brandon and Wendy one day, and then a few days later you walk into a chapel filled with beautiful missionaries and now you’re President and Sister Jones. All heads turn as you walk in, smiles fill their faces as you make your way up the aisle. It’s hard not to turn your head and look behind you because you can’t imagine they are looking at you. It was a surreal experience to be sure.

Those five stops on the mission were exhausting as we made our way from town to town, staying in hotels and giving the same messages each time. Our AP’s (Assistents to the President) were absolutely fantastic and guided us through everything, translating when needed, and making sure all of our technology was working. Talmage and Makenna were with us those first two weeks so we had them address our missionaries too. Because they speak Spanish, they were able to use it and the Portuguese speakers could understand what they were saying. Camryn, scared to death, spoke at all 5 sessions of the mission tour too and won the hearts of all the missionaries. While it was a very sweet experience, we were absolutely exhausted and felt so out of place in areas we didn’t know, meeting people we’d never met. But what astounded us the most, was our immediate love for these missionaries. How does that even happen? How can you love so many people all at once, and care so greatly for them?

The next few weeks were a blur. I personally relied heavily on Tal and Kenna to help me talk to people at the store and do some general translating for me, as well as navigate me on the crazy road.  For President Jones, he was like a linen jacket being tumbled-dry on high heat. Everyone immediately sought his attention and there were many things needing to be done immediately. One of those things was interviewing every single missionary in order to get to know them. We think we tabulated something like 73 hours of interviews over the course of a week and a half. It was heavy.

Mornings were hard to get out of bed. The new reality had set in, culture shock was in full swing, and the daily grind made it really difficult to face each day. Then the two-week mark came and we had to send Makenna and Talmage home which really rocked us. It had been super comforting to have them here with us.

We put together and hosted an incredible Mission Leadership Council with our mission leadership. A week and a half later we had our first Zone Conference. We focused each of our messages on the Missionary Purpose from Preach My Gospel. Every single thing we teach is pointed back to Missionary Purpose.  We also introduced them to our “mission theme” for our three years. After being here for awhile, we recognized that what was missing was conversion. Not just having faith and getting baptized, but actually helping people to come to church regularly, understand the commitments they make at baptism, and then helping them to get the temple.  So our theme for the next three years is “Convertidos ao Senhor” (Converted unto the Lord). Ultimately our main goal is for these young missionaries to become their own greatest convert during their service. We have some other things in the works too that we are super excited to roll out, but that is still to be announced.

After two zone conferences, we took a collective breath (just 4 days) and had to say goodbye to 16 of our missionaries which made up a good portion of our leadership. We hosted them in our mission home for dinner, took them to the temple for endowments the next morning, and then loaded them on a bus for the airport. The very next evening we went to the airport at 9:30p.m. to pick up 18 new missionaries fresh from the MTC. The next morning we took them all to the temple for pictures only, then to the mission home for lunch and a few hours of training from us and the AP’s. Then we bussed them all to the stake center where their trainers were waiting for them. We brought them into the gym where their trainers were singing Called To Serve. We sat the new kids in one half of the circle, and the trainers on the other half of the circle. Then with the fun AP’s playing DJ, they told the name and a little about each new missionary and then called out their trainer name and they came together in the middle. They made it really fun in a “Price is Right, Come on Down!” sort of a way. Then we loaded them onto buses again and off they went to their areas. Some of them didn’t get in until 10:30 at night.

I can’t even begin to describe the obstacles and crazy that surrounds transfers. President Jones and the AP’s really handled all of that. There are so many things to factor in: have these two already served together, has that missionary already been in that area, does that missionary need to be closer to health care, can that missionary handle being with a native speaker, if we pull that missionary out then who will lead the district, could that Elder handle being a senior comp, will those sisters work well together in a threesome, is that Elder too young to be a trainer, how do we fill the spot of the sister who went home with a broken foot, are there enough beds in that apartment for 5 missionaries, can we put sisters in the Elders apartment, is that apartment clean enough, can we trust that missionary to be obedient, would their anxiety be handled well if we put them in a hard area, and on and on and on. I’m not exactly sure how President did it. He stayed up many nights past 2 and 3a.m. I’m exhausted for him. No big deal. Just 186 missionaries.

I myself am handling all the medical needs of the mission which is the heaviest thing for me. It is way out of my comfort zone, has no real organization set up for tracking it all, and I live every day on my phone using Google translate because I don’t speak Portuguese well, and I certainly don’t know any medical terminology. It is a giant challenge every single day, and to be honest I am like a drained vessel and I’m fighting to always give more than I have. Plus I’m dealing with some health challenges that have me seeking help here, which brings on a new set of anxiety and needing to talk to medical professionals about my own health.  What do you do when you have about 30-40 health related questions a week, half of them emotional, and you have no answers to give them because you are struggling yourself?

I also am in charge of housing which is the most messy part of the mission right now. The prior leaders did the best they could, but there is no real accounting of the state of each apartment so we do a lot of band-aid fixing when what we really need is a lot of preventative maintenance to avoid the catastrophes that we are dealing with. It varies from clothes caught in washing machines, to missionaries dancing on desks and breaking them, to dark black mold climbing up the walls and causing breathing problems, to termites in the doors, to unsafe door locks on sister’s apartment doors. It can be all-consuming and having not been to each apartment to see the conditions, its like trying to go up to bat with a blindfold on. We are trying to work on a system that will help missionaries to have more accountability for their apartments rather than having an enabled access to do whatever they want and then walk away when they get transferred. It may take 6 months to implement perfectly, but we hope to get into a rhythm where we aren’t babysitting and cleaning up after missionaries, but rather teaching them simple house maintenance and cleaning so that they can use it in their future.

This week we might be able to breath just a little before planning our next Mission Leadership Council and then ramp up again for zone conferences and then transfers in just 5.5 weeks.

Camryn is doing well…..or just okay. She is our greatest concern. She is sad most of the time, misses home every single day, and believes that we robbed her of free agency by not giving her a choice to come on the mission. Not untrue. She and I are best buddies and when she isn’t at school, she spends all her time with me. She is a trooper. She is adored by all the missionaries and she absolutely loves them!! She started school two weeks ago at an American school. Getting back into some sort of routine has been very important for her mental well-being. She has made friends from South Korea, South Africa, Israel, China, Brazil, and even the States. She is warming up to it and liking her teachers and the curriculum. She is taking piano lessons again from a member of the church who is 19 and leaving on a mission in one month. Then the mom will take over as teacher which will be interesting because she only speaks Portuguese.

While this email may sound super negative, it is also very real and honest about the reality of our life here. However, what we are learning is that in the depth of the very real and turbulent sea, ONE stands to lift us from the abyss. ONE is waiting for us to put our pride on the shelf and reach our hand to HIS extended one. The daily choice to wake up and get back to work is for THE ONE who never leaves us. The work and effort we put in is only done IN and THROUGH THE ONE who is mightiest to save. We are learning this in the most painful ways. We have never experienced anything so grueling. We have faith that after awhile it won’t feel so grueling and we will start to feel the joy from it all. But for now CHRIST holds us up, and patiently teaches us that this isn’t ours to handle. It’s HIS WORK. It always has been and always will be.

Things that we love about Brasil: the warm people, the way people hug and kiss you on the side of your cheek, the kindness people show on the road when you are crazy driving, chuhasco food, acai almost daily, 20 people flooding the stand on fast and testimony Sunday, giant faith of the people, beautiful Porto Alegre which has great shopping and amazing restaurants. Things we miss back home: wide roads, people who follow the rules of the road, grass, being part of a ward where everyone knows you, being able to say simple things like “yes I need a receipt”, our dog, Arizona sunshine, date nights, time to relax and do things as a family.

Thank you for all the prayers. We feel them. We need them.

Wendy (representing The Joneses in Brazil)